All in white shall wait around
off-key kids, on-key kids and one Cancer king: my favorite Christmas songs
My earliest memory of listening to a Christmas song was when Michael Bolton sang it, which probably should’ve spooked the holiday joy out of me for good.
But it didn’t.
I haven’t been religious since like 2013 and I generally find utter reverence to be at best cloying, but I do put up a performance when Christmas rolls around. A good one? Ask my mom. Anyway, I can’t wait for the advent weeks, but always forget to attend. I love the nativity scene, but don’t get why a candle has to be lit and the room darkened. I come to mass every year, but I scroll Twitter during a reading from Corinthians.
I guess the reason why I grasp at straws trying to feel Christmas is because Christmas is barely felt where I live. So I stick to the facsimile: fake plastic Christmas trees at malls, bright lights, and most importantly, Christmas songs so steeped in the context in which they were made that I will myself, almost forcefully, into understanding them. You know, as long as they sound good, etc..
This is why I can’t wait to brush up on my Christmas playlist on December 1 and memorize the words to, like, some British carols or whatever. I’m probably gonna sing one of them this year. I don’t know.
Anyway, sorry, this is just my long-winded, roundabout way of introducing my favorite Christmas songs of all time. Not a lot of schmaltz, admittedly, but who needs it anyway?
Once in a Royal David’s City by Choir of King’s College, Cambridge
I was first introduced to this carol because Sufjan Stevens did a version of it (more on him later). It led me to a choral rabbit hole and also the history of eunuchs, but…sorry, im sorry im trying to delete it.
Anyway, the version literally stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard it. When the “all in white shall wait around” hits, etc. I’ve never had to sing carols involuntarily growing up, but I kinda wish I had if all of them sound like this.
Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance! by Sufjan Stevens
My July 1 brethren probably made the best Christmas album, or a series of EPs to be exact. And this one is so gosh darn stomping that I always feel the need to listen to it for when I’m like walking or whatever.
Mary’s Boy Child by Vienna Boys’ Choir (I think?)
Spotify doesn’t really say who did this version, but it’s great. An acoustic guitar kicks things off and does not look back. The parade of clean, choral voices probably redefined the word “vibes” to me.
Little Drummer Boy by Low
I’ve never willingly checked out Low’s music and stuck with it. But this one is different. The song’s gravelly murmur of reverbs, the muted singing…it’s not a traditional Christmas fare by any metrics imaginable but it just…never stops. Beats the Jackson 5 version of it which many think is unimpeachable.
Sister Winter by Sufjan Stevens
This one’s a late-bloomer. This song unravels as it goes, and the strings…oh boy.
Sussex Carol by Choir of King’s College, Cambridge
Okay, listen: The organ’s too loud on this one, but it contains the simplest melody for a carol.
Here Comes Santa Claus by Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans
People have waxed poetic about the Phil Spector album. And rightfully so: every time I hear this record, I’m reminded of the scene in Goodfellas where Robert De Niro dresses down his troops for treating themselves to some insanely lavish shit and leaving trails all over. This version of Here Comes Santa Claus is a loud highlight, but mostly because of the horns-laden instrumental break in the middle. Jolly.
Hark the Herald Angels Sing by Vince Guaraldi and the kids on the Charlie Brown special
I put on the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year on Christmas. I don’t know why, but I guess ‘cause it…fucking rules! And this scene always gets me, because a) it comes after the Linus speech which is so unnerving that it feels out of place in the special, and b) it sounds god-tier. The kids are off-key, but I guess that’s the point.
Silver Bells by John Denver
My dad digs it. Automatic points.
The First Noel by Virginia Girls Choir & Ana Hernandez
To cheat your way into my playlist, do a folk Christmas song. The melody of The First Noel is deceptively pretty…it’s monotonous as hell, but each verse in this gets its own flourishes and you’ll notice a new thing on every listen.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Phoebe Bridgers
Many are literally saying ad nauseam that this song is *it*. But I like Lucius Malfoy’s version because she sings the words once sung by Judy Garland — “Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow” — instead of the more popular words — “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”
Once in Royal David’s City by Sufjan Stevens
Sufjan rules!